Ok, enough I need a better life,

•October 4, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I was alone this Saturday night, just having broadcast with my partner and after that watching “Blind Dating” even that movie was not really good. And this morning I had my show at 5, there were some problems came, those all were enough to make me got bad-tempered. After having not a really good mood, I decided to send -my special one- later I will write it MS. I can not write to clear about MS, I just want to express it by these words.

I don’t know who is the devil,

is that me that always make you happy?

is that the girl who call you husband,

or they, the two children who call you dad,

or you that call me Love.

If love is heaven,

why does love hurt me, or sometime hurt her,

or usually hurt them.

or you say it always hurt you by the confusion you have.

So how I pretend that love is heaven,

while my smiles and yours become their cries.

how I pretend that it makes me life

while when you should stand as who you are I should cry,

okay, the holy love of you , your marriage couple and your two heritages

are the things that should be ever-lasting , , ,

and I don’t to be apart of your sin . . .

go away from me,

go ahead with them ,

because I need a better life,

by Your Help, Lord .

me vs ustadz

•September 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

First, before you read this post I just want to tell you that I am a Muslim and I believe in my religion. This is not about a conflict between me and my religion. Just how I see a -people say – a wonderful figure , Ustadz or Ulama. I brought by a very Islamic family. My grandparents from my Father is one of a big Ustadz, he had a Islamic Boarding House and School, and His foundation grew as well. While grandparents from my mother were the have people that really adore Islam and Ulama. That’s what make my grandparent “choose” my father as their son in law. By having that basic I often be compared with my cousins that has a very great Islamic education, while I’m not, even never (specifically). These preface is just want to convince you and my own self, that I’m really objective in writing this, that (sorry) I hard to respect Ulama.

This Ramadhan Month I’ve got a job to be an MC of a Ramadhan Program that also involve some great Ustadz from a great foundation also, since this is a national program. Firstly, I thought it would be better for me to refuse this job, but I feel reluctant to do that, since the company gave me order is a promising company. So I decided to go ahead.

First problem there, that make my bad feeling toward ustadz became worse was the way they looked at me, because I use casual clothes (even it covered my aurat , and polite enough). I just try to recall that we shouldn’t judge someone because of his appearance, I believed that they ever said so, but they forgot, after they looked so holly in their holly stage. Second, another young ustadz that at that time really wants to be an MC (even the project officer tried as hard as he could to stop his step by asking me and my partner as the MC). I saw his disappointment, and he showed me by telling his “achievement” that he often became the MC of some occasion both the religious or the fun program. But Should I tell him the program that I ever brought, even the International one? I just keep silent while imaging he said with a very holly mask “Ladies and gents, remember that proud of your own self too much is not good. Become arrogant also not good, we have to be down to earth.” Oh, maybe those word just for leading their income -once again maybe-.

See a lot of fact whether from inside of my family and outside, that Ustadz becomes too busy saying something good in front of people but he forget his family even himself. Let’s compare what I’ve got from my Father’s parents and my Mother’s parent (but I love them both so much). In learning Islam I feel more comfortable if I get that from my mother’s Parent. They are people that adore Ulama so much, they believe in every words Ulama says. They always practice every single taught given by ulama or ustads. When they think that I need some “guide”, they always remind me by saying “remember what ustads A/ ustadz B/ and another ustadz name .  . . ! ” But I admit that they really apply that. While my uncle from my father’s parent forced me to learn on Islamic Boarding House in east Java, but he forgot that several of his little brothers don’t do that as well, but why he’s too busy to care of others.

Simple words, I expect too much from ustadz (event It should be fulfilled), I will respect Ustadz only if his holly words similar with his way of life. But I often  got that point not from ustadz (usually), but from the one who succesfully being influenced by Ustadz’s words to be holly.

However, Ustadz’s words really inspiring people to be as holly as what ustadz say, but for me people that has been influence by ustadz Inspiring me more than ustadz that forget to apply their words or use their holly words just for income or even for defending themselves from some problems. But again I love both my grandparents. May heaven becomes our future Home. And I proud (even to be a black sheep) to be a part of Ustadz Family.

Finally, I’ve got some fun . . .

•September 10, 2009 • Leave a Comment

As usual, I’m having my show on the radio while typing this journal. While listening to the song from D’masiv, Jangan Menyerah. Honestly, I am the one who hate D’masiv, don’t ask me why because I don’t know either, but not for this song. After seeing the video clip, I fell in love suddenly. There were some tears on my face at that time, I don’t know but it was really moving. Just like this morning, it was a very perfect morning. Since I was child, I love a rainy morning. That was raining when I have my Morning Power Light (my morning radio show). I enjoyed it so much, until finally someone send me a newspaper. I wondered, he let his body got in wet, while the newspapers for his customer protected by his coat. I don’t know, whether or not my smile is enough to make him kept in warm. I opened my eyes suddenly, how he respecting me and other customers as his King, while I (and maybe some others) not really care of that, what I know is that the newspaper should be on my Office before 7, without considering his sacrifice. I recalled how I always got angry when there were some (even) little lateness. Now, I know how much you serve me your best.

As usual, I got a hurry-morning today, having bath while broadcasting, and go to my hot campus at 7 a.m. after closing my Morning Power Light. There was a terrible jam on my way, how amazing it was, how a small town like Purwokerto has some jams on its traffic. (again) I came late on my Listening class, and I was not alone, there were 5 others students. We sang a song first, for about 15 minutes in front of the class, and finally the lecturer closed the class before we did something, because the technical problem on the cassette, how poor I was this morning. I was trying to remember how sufficient the facilities that my Senior High School has, and I compared it with what I have today. But I looked forward, I tried to enjoy what I could enjoy. That’s what I called as fun, even only enjoying a rainy day, listening to the music on my broken lab, and enjoying my tiring day, because happiness comes from my own self. I don’t need to find anywhere, just enjoy what I can enjoy . . . . My real fun (even I have only one day Holiday on my Lebaran celebration 😛 ). Whatever it is, let’s show our best smile. 🙂

enjoy what you can enjoy

enjoy what you can enjoy

Start Writing (again) . . .

•September 9, 2009 • Leave a Comment

me and my favourite macaroni

It’s a long time for me not to make some note. Yeah, due to the assignment given by my lecturer to write a personal journal, so now I want to start writing (again). Honestly, I don’t really understand the exact task, hahaha, because I didn’t go to his class today. I felt so tired today, after having broadcast I went to my bed (supposed to be) for a while, I thought it’s enough to have a little rest for 7 – 8 a.m., unfortunately It ain’t enough at all. I woke up at noon, 12 a.m., how a long rest it was. I had too much things to do yesterday, but I think today’s-long-nap really enough for curing my tiredness.

I’m having broadcast on “Most Wanted” (my radio program) while writing this journal. I just breaking my fasting day with my boarding house friend. I waited for so long to have my meal on Mr. Samsam cafe. But It was nice to be gathered with my boarding-house friends, as I really seldom stay there, hehehehe piss “Aziz, Evan, Imam, Sigit”. Anyway, I think I need another menu after having broadcast, fried rice could be nice for my late dinner, because I need a longer sleep tonight, so I won’t have my Sahur.

p.s. : Regarding the assignment from my Lecturer, please text me if there’s any errors, OK !

Selamat Malam Senin….

•March 30, 2009 • 3 Comments

People say “I hate Monday” but I usually say “I love Monday”, kalau ditanya alasan saya, sebenernya saya juga tidak punya jawaban yang pasti. Mungkin karena saya tetep bekerja di hari Minggu, atau mungkin karena saya memang tidak punya hari libur jadi setiap hari sama. Ahh, tapi saya paling tidak suka jawaban mungkin, itu hanya memberikan pertanyaan pertanyaan lain. Jadi saya akan menjawab, saya suka hari Senin karena di hari ini merupakan “permulaan” dan menerut saya hari Senin memberikan saya banyak harapan baru.

Seperti biasa, hari ini saya bangun pukul 06.30 WIB (tentunya setelah mematikan 2 alarm HP  dan satu jam waker pemberian bos saya). Saya tidak langsung beranjak dari tempat tidur saya. Saya membuka mata saya, mengambil tempat minum yang sudah saya letakkan di samping tempat tidur saya dan meneguknya beberapa kali. Ahh, segar setelah itu saya mengecek inbox di HP saya,  saya juga heran, saya kan tidur jam 11 ato 12 malam, kok setelah itu masih ada orang – orang yang SMS, kenapa tidak menunggu pagi (bukan Peterpan). Tanpa sarapan, saya berangkat ke kampus setelah mandi dan mengoleskan beberapa lapis acne cream untuk wajah saya yang “berbintang”.

Mata kuliah pertama adalah book report, kali ini membahas novel yang berjudul David Cepperfield karya Charles Dicken, seperti biasa saya datang terlambat, semua dosen maklum apalagi mahasiswa yang lain, mereka sudah menganggap ini sebagai rutinitas saya. Sebenarnya karena tiga bulan terakhir saya siaran pagi dari jam 5 sampai jam 7 jadi pasti telat di mata kuliah pertama yang di mulai jam 7 tepat. Sayang saya belum sempat baca novel itu, jadi saya memilih diam pada sesi tanya jawab. Minggu lalu saya tertarik membaca sebuah novel karangan Dickens juga, Oliver twist,  dan sebuah novel yang menceritakan seorang tokoh king Arthur, jadi saya tidak sempat membaca David C. Tapi bukan masalah yang besar, karena saya optimist mendapat nilai yang bagus setelah memberikan presentasi saya beberapa minggu yang lalu tentang The Uncle Tom’s Cabin karya Harriet Beecher Stowe. Mungkin sedikit kepedean tapi mungkin itu sudah menjadi salah satu watak menonjol saya. Setelah itu saya pindah ke ruangan sebelah, ruangan yang sebenarnya tidak mampu menampung lebih dari 45 mahasiswa, tapi sering dipaksa untuk menampung 50 – 60 mahasiswa, wow pemerkosaan ruangan. Setelah itu saya masuk ke kelas Literature, dan ternyata hanya diberi tugas untuk membaca novel Twilight dan minggu depan harus mengapresiasikan novel dan filmnya. Tapi saya tidak tertarik untuk membaca novel itu, mungkin karena saya sudah menonton filmnya, jadi saat saya mencari novel saya lebih memilih novel Indonesia, judulnya Coklat karangan Etty Indriati, saya belum selesai membacanya, baru 5 bab, tapi so far novelnya cukup membuat saya tertarik, saya membacanya di sela lagu dan iklan saat saya siaran. Seperti biasa agenda hari Senin di tengah jam kuliah adalah pergi ke ATM untuk mengecek dan mengambil uang (kalau sudah masuk). Uang kiriman dari kakak saya, karena kebutuhan – kebutuhan primer saya masih dibiayai oleh kakak pertama saya, semoga sebelum 5 tahun kedepan saya sudah bisa mulai membalasnya, Amin. Syukurlah uang sudah di kirim, saya pergi ke percetakan untuk mengambil back drop titipan kakak saya. Lalu saya mengunjungi toko musik dan sport buat melihat – lihat biola, karena saya akan menekuni biola kembali setelah bertahun – tahun tidak menyentuhnya sama sekali. Sebelum kuliah bahasa Perancis saya dan teman saya Tine memutuskan untuk minum es kelapa muda di tempat langganan. Setelah kuliah perancis saya makan di KFC, haha packet attack, paket rakyat jelata. Setelah makan kita pergi ke gramed di sana pun saya melihat – lihat biola, sepertinya saya sudah sangat terobsesi, tapi mungkin saya baru akan membelinya bulan depan, toh tinggal beberapa hari. Setelah itu saya balik ke kantor, hujan – hujanan menggunakan Karisma X saya yang sudah menua. Setelah itu saya siaran, seperti biasa dari jam setengah 7 sampai jam 9 malam, tentunya sambil membaca Cokelat. Saya break siaran 30 menit untuk siraman rohani Kristiani, setelah itu saya siaran lagi (harusnya hanya 30 menit, sampai jam 10), ternyata ada masalah dengan relay Pas FM, saya complain ke Indovision, tapi sayang sekali ternyata di sana tidak ada 24 hour Costumer care, jadi saya tidak mendapat jawaban yang sedikit pun memuaskan, dan follow up hanya akan dilakukan besok pagi. Menjengkelkan sebenarnya, tapi betapa tokoh di Cokelat sangat menginspirasi saya untuk selalu bersikap dan berpikir positif, terimakasih Etty Indriati, novel yang bagus. Sekarang siaran saya hari ini sudah selesai, saya berniat pulang, dan meneruskan membaca novel ini.

Seperti biasa selalu saya selalu berusaha mengatakan, Terima Kasih Tuhan untuk pelajaran hari ini.
Oya tadi buku saya di coret – coret dosen Perancis saya, Nichola, native. Dia bilang “How poor your sentences” dengan pronunciation ala engfrance (English – Frances) yang susah sekali di dengar, dan saya merasa seperti mahasiswa yang bodoh (mungkin baru sadar kalau ternyata saya bodoh, hahaha)

AKU BERTAHAN LYRIC – RIO FEBRIAN

•December 24, 2008 • 3 Comments

Sedih, ku tahu kini perasaanmu kepadaku

sedih, saat kau tak yakin kepadaku akan cintaku

jalan berliku tak kan membuatku menyerah akan cinta kita

tatap mataku dan kau akan tahu

semuanya yang ku rasakan

Reff

Aku bertahan

karna ku yakin cintaku kepadamu

sesering kau coba kau mematikan hatiku

tak kan terjadi yang aku tahu kau hanya untukku

Aku bertahan

ku akan tetap pada pendirianku

sekeras kau coba tuk membunuh cintaku

yang aku tahu kau hanya untukku


TataP mataku dan kau akan tahu

semuanya yang ku rasakan

=== MEMORY OF DECEMBER 20 2K8 ===

SAUDARA = PENGHIANAT….

•December 8, 2008 • 1 Comment

Dua hari yang lalu ada cewe yang nge add fs gw, akhirnya gw approve. Di fsnya dia cerita kalo sepupunya ada yang sakit, dia nyebut nama sepupunya itu, dan gw kaget soalnya namanya sama kaya nama anak sepupu gw (bingungin yah,,,???hheehehe), dan gw juga denger kabar kalo anak itu lagi sakit. Trus akhirnya gw kasih comment, makasih dah nge add sama pastiin kalo anak kecil yang sakit itu sodara gw. Ternyata bener, dia sodara ipar sodara gw (bingung lagi kan).

Tapi, yang ga gw sangka sodara gw itu ngomongin kejelekan gw ke anak kecil yang nge add fs gw…. dan gw marah banget, soalnya gw pikir dia itu sodara yang baek. Ga mungkin kan kalo anak itu tau jeleknya gw, secara dia baru kenal. dan itu sebenernya ga penting buat di bahas. Mulai sekarang, gw JANJI, GW GA BAKAL MAEN KE TEMPAT DIA, SAMPAI DIA MATI JUGA. PERCUMA JUGA SOK MANIS KALO CUMA DI DEPAN. DIA DAN KELUARGANYA DIA YANG MULE PERANG DULUAN AMA GW, GW CUMA BISA TAHAN EMOSI SAMBIL BERDOA, YA TUHAN TOLONG HANCURKAN HIDUP MEREKA,,,,,

warna – warni desember

•December 2, 2008 • Leave a Comment

First of all, HAPPY DECEMBER…. Ya walopun telat sehari, tapi ya (again) late is better than nothing (sebenernya ini kata – kata yang paling gw benci, tapi sering gw pake).  Ga kerasa ya, ternyata kita udah di akhir tahun 2008. Jadi kepikiran, apa aja yang udah dan belum gw lakuin selama tahun 2008. Bulan ini gw mulai dengan kuliah jam 7 pagi. Kelas gw selese jam 8.45, terus gw kudu stay di studio. Pas stay, gw dapet 2 sms yang bisa dibilang menarik. Yang pertama, sms kabar kalo gw Lolos seleksi IVED (debate competition tingkat nasional) buat jadi wakil Universitasku tercinta UNSOED. Yang kedua, gw dapet sms dari temen gw Tita, dia temen SMP tapi ketemu lagi pas kuliah, sama mas Abe, ketua HIMASI (Himpunan Mahasiswa Sastra Inggris), katanya gw dipanggil Bapendik.

Panggilan dari bapendik bener – bener bikin gw penasaran. Mulai dari cemas, jangan – jangan ada administrasi yang nggak beres, sampe menghayal kalo gw dapet scholarship buat study di luar negeri, tapi ah mana mungkin, gw kan ga pernah daftar buat beasiswa apapun. Secara gw penasaran banget, gw langsung cabut ke kampus. Sampe ke kampus, gw ketemu sama Mba – mba berkerudung,
sampe sekarang walopun gw udah beberapa kali berhubungan sama dia, tapi gw ga ngeh namanya, maaf iah mba. Mba – mba itu ngomong kalo nanti jam 12 Kasub Bapendik mau ketemu, nah tambah bingung lagi. Akhirnya selama kul dari jam 10.30 nyampe siang bolong, gw ga konsen blas. Selese kelas, gw langsung ke ruang bapendik, dan Horraaaaaay,,, gw dapet beasiswa. Ternyata kasub bapendik baca daftar prestasi ku yang ada di biodata, haha lumayan.

But in other hand, gw sekarang lagi sedih. Gw kan lolos seleksi buat IVED, jadi wakil Universitasku tercinta. More over yang lolos dari angkatan 2008 itu cuma gw, (again) I love 2 be the first and the one and only. Tapi ternyata udah 3 kali undangan latihan gw ga bisa dateng, selalu ada aja halangan. Finally, gw mutisin buat ngundurin diri. Padahal dari SMA gw dah seneng banget debate. Yang bikin gw dapet ini itu ya debate. Tapi, apakah hidup gw di debate kudu di akhiri sekarang. Tapi gw juga ga mungkin ninggalin Siaran, karena siaran buat gw bukan cuma sebuah kerjaan, tapi sebuah dedikasi buat ngibur orang, sebuah tanggung jawab buat ngasih informasi – informasi baru, dan lebih – lebih sebuah hobby yang udah jadi kebutuhan, dan nggak bisa dipungkiri juga kalo dari siaran gw juga dapat banyak banget keuntungan dan kesempatan buat ini itu. But life is a choice, and I should choose one of them. Karena gw punya satu target di karier siaran gw, so gw putusin buat konsen di siaran gw, and the consequence is goin a way from IVED. Tapi ga apa lah, gw masih percaya sama rencana Tuhan yang luar biasa, God please gives me the best…., amin.

Kerjaan tambahan gw di bulan desember ini adalah….., ngurusin Dj – DJ baru buat training. Gw kudu ngasi progress report mereka. Huh, semoga aja mereka gampang diatur + diajari, kalo gak…. something bad will come to them, hehehehehe.

Other project bulan ini adalah, ngurusin Ultah radio, jadi juri di acaranya Fakultas hukum, trus ikutan nimbrung di latihan debate anak – anak SMK Telkom (sma gw dulu), nyenengin baget ngeliat mereka latian, inget dulu ajah.

Apalagi yang warna – warni di bulan ini. Hopefully God always gives me the best…

Pagi ini dimulai siaran works out

•November 29, 2008 • 8 Comments

Tadi malem kayak biasa gw siaran Yasika Night Life nyampe jam 12. Karena gw paginya juga musti siaran, jadi gw putusin buat tidur di studio. Sebelum tidur, yang gw lakuin adalah ngirim sms ke temen2 gw, ada popo, riko, nana, dien, hilman, defi, pokoknya mereka yang berpotensi bangun pagi lah. Gw minta tolong mereka buat bangunin, secara gw emang kalo tidur suka kaya kebo,,,hehehehe. Tapi akhirnya, gw bisa juga bangun, jam 4 pula, gara – gara popo telp jam 4. Thx popo…

Gw mule siaran jam 5, ampe jam 10, fuih,,,, it will be a tiring broadcast, tapi selalu ada cerita unik dari sms2 yasikers… that what makes me survive to have a 5 hour broadcast….hehehe…

Kaya yang gw omongin di post terakhir, hari ini tim futsal kelas gw (both girls and boys) masuk final… Sayangnya gw gak bisa nonton, no no, mungkin bisa tapi telat. Moga aja bisa menang yah,,,. How’s the result….? just wait n see, tar gw bis siaran mau nonton ahh….

Futsal…. my Confusion

•November 29, 2008 • 1 Comment

Wah, ditengah kejenuhan gw ama aktivitas gw sehari – hari, hari ini gw diberi sedikit hiburan. Di kampus gw ada welcome party, it should be too late,but (again) late is better than nothing… (ini yang bikin orang2 Indonesia pada TELATAN).

Awalnya gw bete juga ama kelas gw, soalnya ga ada yang mau maen futsal. Gw kan ga mungkin, coz gw ga bisa, lagian gw juga pas acara ada siaran, tapi akhirnya ada juga yang mau. Eh,there’s something different here loh… Futsalnya buat cewe and cowo. Dan, tadi siang, abis kuliah Bahasa Indonesia, kita meeting kelas buat nentuin dress code. Akhirnya dipilihlah warna biru buat sore ini plus putih buat besok pagi. Ga tau kenapa, tiba – tiba gw ngeluarin statement biar mereka semangat .“kalo tim futsal cewe ato cowo menang, pemainnya gw traktir deh,,,,” WHAT DID YOU SAY, OBET???? gw juga bingung, hehehehe,,,,. Dan sekarang tim cewe ama tim cowo kelas gw masuk final semua…. Haduh, haduh,,, siap –  siap neh…. But, nothing to loose lah, it just one of the way to realize my words,,, “CHAMPION IS MY TRADITION” …

PERTANYAAN HARI INI :

APAKAH TIM FUTSAL KELAS GW (CEWE + COWO) BAKAL MENANG DI FINAL?

WALOPUN GW HARUS NRAKTIR MEREKA YANG DOYAN MAKAN SEMUA, TAPI GW TETEP BERDOA, MAJULAH KAWAN,,,, BE NUMBER ONE, EVEN IT”S  A LITTLE THING, BUT EVERYTHING STARTS HERE…. (lebay,,,,,)

Notes :

Rule Futsal buat final :

1. Cewek pake sarung

2. Cowok pake daster

3. Semua peserta wajib berhenti waktu musik berhenti

4. Pada saat musik berhenti, wasit akan memberikan beberapa pertanyaan. Peserta yang akan menjawab pertanyaan, wajib mengangkat tangan sambil bergoyang – goyang (kalo liat pasti ketawa ngakak….)

5. Pemenang adalah tim yang punya score menjawab dan score dari Goal terbanyak

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