me vs ustadz
First, before you read this post I just want to tell you that I am a Muslim and I believe in my religion. This is not about a conflict between me and my religion. Just how I see a -people say – a wonderful figure , Ustadz or Ulama. I brought by a very Islamic family. My grandparents from my Father is one of a big Ustadz, he had a Islamic Boarding House and School, and His foundation grew as well. While grandparents from my mother were the have people that really adore Islam and Ulama. That’s what make my grandparent “choose” my father as their son in law. By having that basic I often be compared with my cousins that has a very great Islamic education, while I’m not, even never (specifically). These preface is just want to convince you and my own self, that I’m really objective in writing this, that (sorry) I hard to respect Ulama.
This Ramadhan Month I’ve got a job to be an MC of a Ramadhan Program that also involve some great Ustadz from a great foundation also, since this is a national program. Firstly, I thought it would be better for me to refuse this job, but I feel reluctant to do that, since the company gave me order is a promising company. So I decided to go ahead.
First problem there, that make my bad feeling toward ustadz became worse was the way they looked at me, because I use casual clothes (even it covered my aurat , and polite enough). I just try to recall that we shouldn’t judge someone because of his appearance, I believed that they ever said so, but they forgot, after they looked so holly in their holly stage. Second, another young ustadz that at that time really wants to be an MC (even the project officer tried as hard as he could to stop his step by asking me and my partner as the MC). I saw his disappointment, and he showed me by telling his “achievement” that he often became the MC of some occasion both the religious or the fun program. But Should I tell him the program that I ever brought, even the International one? I just keep silent while imaging he said with a very holly mask “Ladies and gents, remember that proud of your own self too much is not good. Become arrogant also not good, we have to be down to earth.” Oh, maybe those word just for leading their income -once again maybe-.
See a lot of fact whether from inside of my family and outside, that Ustadz becomes too busy saying something good in front of people but he forget his family even himself. Let’s compare what I’ve got from my Father’s parents and my Mother’s parent (but I love them both so much). In learning Islam I feel more comfortable if I get that from my mother’s Parent. They are people that adore Ulama so much, they believe in every words Ulama says. They always practice every single taught given by ulama or ustads. When they think that I need some “guide”, they always remind me by saying “remember what ustads A/ ustadz B/ and another ustadz name . . . ! ” But I admit that they really apply that. While my uncle from my father’s parent forced me to learn on Islamic Boarding House in east Java, but he forgot that several of his little brothers don’t do that as well, but why he’s too busy to care of others.
Simple words, I expect too much from ustadz (event It should be fulfilled), I will respect Ustadz only if his holly words similar with his way of life. But I often got that point not from ustadz (usually), but from the one who succesfully being influenced by Ustadz’s words to be holly.
However, Ustadz’s words really inspiring people to be as holly as what ustadz say, but for me people that has been influence by ustadz Inspiring me more than ustadz that forget to apply their words or use their holly words just for income or even for defending themselves from some problems. But again I love both my grandparents. May heaven becomes our future Home. And I proud (even to be a black sheep) to be a part of Ustadz Family.